Live life the way it is!

8th of Jan

2010-01-08T01:21:00.000-08:00

43. it has been sealed. nothing more, nothing less.

two months

2009-11-28T03:44:00.000-08:00

hey, this post aint really going to be about unicorns and all the good things in life! but heh, it's about my life. the one whole month before IB was definitely the toughest of my life. I studied really hard since i totally failed my prelims; fcuk 37 points! (i deserve a good fcuking thrashing for that). I mean, i never scored so freaking low in my life. I was definitely afraid, fearful that I would not be able to achieve my goals. My entire life flashed before my eyes the day I got my prelim results. I felt like a total failure. FAILURE. i guess, it was a good lesson but heh, I am really fearful about my actual results. Everyone's really happy about IB being over and all, but I have already started thinking about the 6th of Jan. What will happen if I dont achieve my goals? I have worked hard towards it for the past few years. AND i definitely cannot let go of it. AT ALL COSTS. I decided to consider medicine as one of my career options not because of the prestige or the money but for the passion (Since Pri 4!) My eyes seem to have been fixed on this goal for a really long time and I really hope that I get what I want; not for me, but for my family. Thus, after the results, the next 4 weeks were intense. so intense that i fainted once. i guess it was only because of my parents, teachers, and friends that I was able to get past my worries and consider the results of being able to fulfill my dreams. i guess the hardest time was during the exam period itself. I was literally panicking while some of my friends seemed to be kinda carefree. it was only after two weeks that the burden of exams was lifted off my hairy chest. haha. but i already started thinking about my future; where will it lead to? will it be for the better? i guess time will tell. I was quite touched by the gift, a bible, given to me by some of my classmates. It really got me thinking about my own religion; hinduism though i still respect my friends for having faith in christianity. i truly believe that whichever religion you abide by the goal is one; to find a purpose in life. At this point, all i can think about is that god has plans for me; be it, big or small. this concludes my pseudo-reflective post.

Life's Good

2009-09-29T04:36:00.000-07:00

one word to describe all that happened yesterday/today: Awesome.

the road not taken

2009-09-06T22:38:00.000-07:00

it seems that the end is inevitable.

the past twenty moonshines have been bright and fruitful,

friendships were made,

love blossomed.

Yet, something there is that stirs a sense of hollowness.

Lest that it would morph into psychological dislocation.

Apprehensive,

the waiting seems to have taken a toll on me.

I have lived each and every moment to the fullest,

Busy as a bee i had been.

Hopeful that the future that unfolds before my eyes,

Vikram waits patiently in a silk-sedan.

I would like to thank everyone for giving me a reason to smile and laugh.

Displacement

2009-08-14T06:24:00.000-07:00

There once lived a man who loved to be known for his intelligence, niceties and his all-rounded disposition,
Yet, there was something between himself and the world
Little did he know that soon, he would feel a sense of detachment from his so-called un-fragmented reality;
He was deluded. Beguiled. Unconcerned.
He then built a wall.
Something there is that doesn't love a wall.
Displacement. Three syllables. One word. One entity.

displacement

2009-08-14T04:59:00.000-07:00

it's not what you think it is.

Unfragmented reality

2009-08-09T04:18:00.000-07:00

I have never felt so contented with my life up till now as I feel much closer to my five aims. Maybe it is because of my positive energy? Maybe not? Nonetheless, it is the best feeling ever?
I have learnt three new words while analyzing Background and Friezes. (Hats off to Wole for his really insightful poem: reminds me of the trials and tribulations that India had to go through under the tyranny of the British rulers. Jai Hind!)
Auxesis: a form of hyperbole (For instance, the entire first stanza can be seen as an auxesis in order to depict the violence, blood and gore of war: accentuated by the use of hyperbolic analogies and vivid, grotesque imagery)
Ellipsis: a gap in the middle of the sentence (It symbolizes the decapitation in stanza 2)
Meiosis: contrary to auxesis ("Beggar's cup")
I was literally moved by the intense amount of violence depicted in the poem; as if the poem is cast in stone (thus the word "friezes"): pun on the word (freezes) in order to emphasize the unchanging violence of war...universality of suffering
IOC has been a fun experience so far. There's still 10 more days to my IOC! I NEED TO DO WELL FOR IT SINCE I DO NOT REALLY HAVE AN APTITUDE FOR THE LANGUAGE

achievements!

2009-08-04T02:27:00.000-07:00

i have been thinking about what to write for the SGC since it is really really important for uni apps as well as scholarships. I am really contented of what I have achieved over the past 19 months but I still think that there is still a lot that I can improve on. I have never been so slack over the past two days in my whole freaking life. i agree that slacking is kinda fun but like darli said "Slacking is like w""king. It gives you momentary pleasure. However, once you realize that you have just f""ked yourself." I also realized that time flies by so quickly especially when you have been slacking over the past two days. HAHA.
IOCIOCIOCIOCIOCIOCIOCIOCIOCIOCIOC!!!

sat night!

2009-08-01T21:02:00.000-07:00

the thwwartnig of baron bolligrew- drama foa was an entertaining performance! hats off to shubhit, anand, omeet, bingei, amil and yvonne for their acting. i never knew that bingei and yvonne could alter their voices so much so as to fit into their roles. haha. after drama foa, the few of us headed off down to the dressing room to meet niks, shubs and the rest...
then i forgot wat happened after the rest...wait...i know that i just woke up at 12noon

it aint hocus pocus but focus...

2009-07-28T08:09:00.000-07:00

for the first time, i actually spent some time to THINK. never have i spent thinking so much for the past 67 months in my life! haha. i am really apprehensive of the road ahead. sometimes i feel really confident (like now) but sometimes i really feel not-so-confident of whether i would be able to achieve my aims in life. only time will tell...for the short-term, i hope the next 23 days will pass by really quickly so that i can ditch all IOC, CCAs and assignments and just PROPERLY focus on studies. haha...
meanwhile, check out BEATBOXING FLUTE INSPECTOR AND HARMONICA INSPECTOR on UTUBE. they are really good at beatboxing while playing instruments!

positive energy...

2009-07-27T05:27:00.000-07:00

i realised that i had been kinda dumb on Friday for being depressed for nothing. i talked to someone-i-know-who-really-is-a-role-model-for-everyone for about an hour and HE rekindled that desire-to-succeed that i have had for the past five and a half years. These past three days have been spent on thinking, going out to stop myself from thinking too much and thinking again...I have attained a strong sense of my achievements and successes so far...And, I will promise everyone who have kept faith in me that I would not let you down. Not only that, I will also prove to the few who think that i cannot achieve my five aims:)

unappreciated...

2009-07-24T05:07:00.000-07:00

all my life, I thought i had been blessed with so many gifts...i had the support of my parents, my teachers and most importantly, my friends. i loved each time i accomplished something. i think thats what makes me feel so down today. though it might seem to you that i might have accomplished a lot, and even though it might seem trivial to you, i never have really felt that unappreciated for my efforts up till today.

confessions of a mugaholic

2009-07-20T06:27:00.001-07:00

I decided to blog for about 5 minutes before i start on my wlit again? more like trying to cut down on 550 words! FCUK (to comic effect)
I cant wait to get my results tomr! NOT! haha. i wont be there while the class is receiving the results due to NS medical exam. hehe. oh by the way, have i told you that wlit sucks?
i just got reminded of fmylife.com haha. seriously, it is damn funny; with its slapstick humour and sarcasm, even the Great PC loses out in terms of humour.
I know i have been really selfish for the past few days. This is because of mainly 2 reasons:
1. my parents complaining that i do not go out with the family much? like omg! wth. actually, it is true i guess. It has been more than a month since i went out with my family.
2. asking Jun to help me with my wlit so many times. I swear i feel so damn damn bad. i promised that i would help her with anything she was weak in? (practically, shes good at almost every subject). Ah wells...
ok guys, it has been 4 min 59 seconds since i have penned down my erratic (Note: erratic is not erotic) thoughts.
wlit calls :(

reminiscing

2009-07-18T02:17:00.000-07:00

The past 18 mths have been the most intense of my entire life! No surprises though, it is cos of IB! As one great being said; "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times". I have become very philosophical over the past few days, thinking about life just as it is. It has been a long time since i actually had some time off to think about my life. I just realised that Term 2 of this year was the most intense; really really really intense. I reached home (on average) at 7pm and this was attributed to NYAA Gold Award activities (took up half my life), St johns and photog activities, CAS activities, EE, TOK, HINDI IB Exam. See, i told ya! it was the freaking most insane shit ever! I am glad it is all over now. NOT! i still have my non-existent wlit which-just-came-into-existence on wednesday. i made quite a bit of good progress. i just have to start amending my essay. i still have Hindi IOC, and English IOC after that. I am glad that NYAA and CAS are freaking over! seriously, i never knew CCAs were such a pain in the ass! on second thoughts, it was indeed tiring but enjoyable to have seen myself grow in terms of maturity. Especially after my 23000 word NYAA report, 3999 word EE, 1598-word TOK, 325-hour CAS report (i m tellin ya, it is actually more than that. LOL. i was just lazy to clock in the rest of the hours)...
And wait, I had another disappointment; Harry potter and the Half blood prince movie! it wasnt as good as expected. before the movie, i was literally jumping for joy. After the movie, i had mixed feelings about that movie. Nevertheless, I urge everyone to watch the movie as there were many good scenes (notably, Ron's and Hermione's) In addition, i was also glad that my friends and I were one of the first ones to catch the movie on thursday.
this post has been a really long one...this could be attributed to my sickness (HEALTH)...haiz. I guess all these efforts would indeed pay off eventually.
Have i told you about my five aims in life:
1. 44/45 points (IB)
2. Get accepted into NUS Med School or with-scholarship to any other overseas uni
3. get into OCS after NS BMT
4. Become really buff
5. i cant tell you about this. shhh...

i really hope that i would be able to realize my dreams. but for dreams to come true, i would have to do sth about them right? i will promise myself to work so hard for the next 3 or 4 mths to achieve my aims.

Though I started this blog a day later than...

2009-07-14T04:42:00.001-07:00

Today has been one hell of a roller coaster ride. First, it was the shitty math paper I had to write for 2 hrs. At the end, I started laughing out of self-pity. LOL. Then, I went like ‘Crap’ so loudly till the rest of the class heard it and laughed. At least, i wasnt the only one who found it real hard. After that, i played soccer for an hour or so with the rest of the year 6s who didnt take physics. YEA!
then, i went out for lunch at pastamania @ cine with about 10 members of the class and nikhil. haha.
FINALLY THE TIME HAS COME.
Transformers movie: i had been waiting for so long to watch this movie. I had previously turned down a request to go watch the movie as i was trying to study for CTs. lol.
Basically, the movie can be summed up in 5 words: Megan Fox, Linkin Park-the new divide, Opt prime, Megan Fox, Megan Fox. I also found that chick who turned into that freakazoid kinda hot. haha. after the day, the four of us went to meet up with the rest who hadnt watched the movie. we hung out for a while and decided to part after that.
nikhil and i then went to play pool @ paradiz. i was totally not in form as i had lost 1-4 :( i am sure i would be able to pick up the skills after IB. haha.
by the time i reached home, it was already 8. sth really inspired me and i went to run for about 15mins? haha. yea. it has been a good day to celebrate post CTs. OH. i have begun to see transformers everywhere!!!